Jaden Valentina

I try not to sweat the small stuff. I try to do small things daily to make life enjoyable but now even more so. Life seems so much shorter now.

Shortly after my first pregnancy sonogram, my right nipple retracted. We knew this could be a bad sign since my paternal grandmother’s breast cancer presented the same way. Of course, we were hoping it was a clogged milk duct. Later, Leo felt a mass as well in the same breast. After the delivery, I went for a sonogram. The tech and I could clearly see the huge black masses on the screen and neither of us said a word. She ushered me in for a mammogram and then another magnified mammogram. The techs patted me on the back as I was leaving, knowing it was bad. I thought I would lose it. I at least waited until I got back to the changing room and lost it. I had to walk out with blood shot eyes and Leo asking what was wrong. I walked straight to the car trying to keep myself together. We had to wait until the next week to get the biopsy (10 biopsies were taken and the numbing agent missed half of the sample locations ...very painful!). Then it was a long 24 hour wait for the result. I told my surgeon she could tell me on the phone. She called me the next morning and said it was cancer and come in that same day to discuss. I was in shock and tried to keep composed for the two people I would have to tell. I called Leo, and he came straight home from work. Then I called Mom and told her. Our first thought was that they would take the breast and I could handle that, no problem. HA! It was a whirlwind of appointments and education after that. We called my cousins for advice since they had all been there (Debbie, Dotty, Aubrey). They all handled it differently but Dotty assured me it wasn't a death sentence. It definitely feels like it the first month. Aubrey hooked me up with a world class consult in NY at Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. It’s a comfort to have 2nd and 3rd opinions and get your cancer explained to you by 8 different doctors.

Cancer education:

“You will lose your breast and your nipple.”
“Your areola will be a tattoo.”
“You have to do chemo for 4 months.”
“You will feel like the side affects will kill you.”
“You will lose your hair within two weeks.”

WHAT!!! I lost it each time I heard more bad news with my husband and newborn baby in the room, I cried like a baby. Needless to say, as we go along this journey and get more bad news, losing my nipple is the least of my problems! Then it was the fertility problem...

“You can't get pregnant for at least 3 yrs.”
“Your ovaries may not function after chemo (30% chance they won't).”
“You have no eggs to freeze since you are post partum.”
“You can’t take hormones to stimulate egg production because it will make your cancer worse.”

WHAT!!!! At this point I'm getting use to bad news but still crying many times per day.

"The cancer could spread at anytime.”
“Your mortality rate is lower since you are young and the cancer is aggressive (around 18% die within 5yrs)"

WHAT!!!!!! I lost it. All I could think of was Jaden and wanting to be there for her. Definitely makes life more precious. I enjoy every moment with her. I'm trying to spend more time with my husband but it has taken a toll. I don't feel sexy without my hair and it’s hard to lose weight when I can barely walk during chemo. So we go to get my human hair wig and discover its 1700 bucks! WHAT! Ok, I'll pay anything. Later I find out how uncomfortable and hot it is. It wasn't really worth $1700! I wear my cotton head cover most of the time. People have asked if I cut my hair, "no, I have cancer people!"
The hardest part is living with the fear of reoccurrence. They say it gets better after the 5 year mark but I don't get much comfort from this "5 year" thing. We need better treatment for cancer! Because of my own awareness, I see so many young cancer patients all the time now. Stupid Cancer!

We are hoping to have another baby but I'm scared since my mortality rate is lower now. I would hate to checkout before I see them get married and have babies! So I will get my ovaries tested in 2yrs to see if they are operational and then we'll see. Trying after 3 yrs is risky since I would have to stop my Tamoxifen temporarily before the 5 year mark. If I wait 5 years, I'll be pushing 40 and tempting fate with the ovaries. So it’s a hard situation. Thank God I have one wonderful and healthy daughter. I'll take the sickness for her any day.

I've had a lot of support and was able to get secondary insurance to help out. My husband and mother have been great. And Jaden, my 4 month old helps keeps me focused, strong, and happy. Work has been extremely supportive as well since I'm able to work from home as needed. And my girlfriends check on me all the time.
I'm very lucky.

Stats:
Hereditary Breast cancer during pregnancy at age 33
ER+/PR-/HER2-/
Stage III Ductal Invasive Carcinoma 9cm /Lymph Node Positive
Chemotherapy: 4 AC/ 4T Dose Dense
Bi-lateral Mastectomy scheduled for November
Unable to freeze eggs before chemo due to being post-partum
BRCA2+ Planning removal of ovaries and hysterectomy as soon as possible

· The chance of a woman having invasive breast cancer some time during her life is 1 in 8.
· 1 out of 3,000 pregnant women are diagnosed with breast cancer.
· The 5-year survival rate is 82% among women diagnosed with breast cancer before age 40 · Women who carry the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene mutation are five times more likely to develop breast or ovarian cancer. Get the blood test!